As Cliche’ As It Sounds...

...they really do grow up too fast. I was watching my sons last night, we weren’t doing anything extraordinary, just sitting in the front room with the television going and it struck me that they are no longer the cute, cuddly, adoring creatures I still see them as.

Justin is 18, about to graduate high school, and soon heading to boot camp in San Diego to become an official Marine. He is 6 feet tall, which for our family is barely tall enough, and sturdy as the ageless oak in the back yard. I remember so clearly how much he needed me when he was just a toddler - he was always easily entertained, but he always wanted me within sight. Today he is barely around, off doing what it is teenage boys do when away from their mothers.

Dylan is 15 and a freshman in high school, and testing me every step of the way. I’m told his personality is a mirror-image of mine, and yet I see him as so much stronger and focused than I could ever be. I love that he is actually taller than Justin, by an inch or so now, and he is willowy and lean like his father. He’s the blonde in the family, and I can hear him asking me “Mom, why is Justin all tan like Dad and I have to be white like you?” Yes, this one got my coloring along with my endless tact.

So I can’t cuddle with them. I crave the feeling of holding them in my arms, but at their age, it is just too weird for them. I am lucky that I get a nightly hug and kiss on the cheek before bedtime (mine, not theirs) and that they always tell me they love me before they walk out the door.

That is what keeps me going.